Follow me! (Or don’t, I don’t really mind.)

I will admit right now, Twitter has become a significant part of my day-to-day life over the past couple of years (thanks to fellow writer/blogger/tweeter Margaret Scott D’arcy for getting me hooked) and it has been a great help / means-of-networking-with-fellow-scribes / source-of-entertainment in that time. It also helps to stave off cabin fever that comes from being a stay-at-home writer.

I’m happy to say that I have about the same number of followers (who I hope find me interesting on some level) as I have followees (yes I know that’s not technically a word). How-and-ever, I am finding that what I am doing all-too-often nowadays is un-following people. Not because they tweet once a year or their profile photo is of Wiley Coyote, but because almost everyday I look at what they tweet and say (out loud) ‘Oh-for-fuck-sake’.

So to cut my diatribe as short as I can, here’s what to do if you want one less follower (that would be me).

  • Only ever tweet promotions for something you’re trying to sell. If you’re a writer, as a lot of my followees are, this will includes links to your amazon page, reviews (only the good ones obviously), that passage from chapter-whatever you reckon is a ‘hook’. If you’re using Twitter purely as ad-space…buh-bye.
  • Repeat-tweet – post the same tweet more than once. It was interesting/funny/insightful the first time, after the 2nd or 3rd time (or 7th time) , it just shows how interesting/funny/insightful you think you are. Newsflash – you’re not.
  • Tweet unsubstantiated or under-researched ‘facts’. I have to admit, i find out a lot of what is going in the world on Twitter and, for the five seconds before I google it or pick up the newspaper, I assume that it’s true. Tweeting that ‘OMG Tayto Cheese-and-Onion give you cancer’ will be quickly proven incorrect, show you up to stupid or naive or both and direct you quickly to my ‘unfollow’ bin, do not pass ‘Go’.
  • Tweet an opinion based on an unsubstantial fact – a certain F1 driver recently dissed his team-mate for unfollowing him on Twitter, suggesting that it was a sign of disrespect and unprofessionalism. Then he found out that said team-mate had never followed him in the first place. Oh dear.
  • Tweet-report your everyday life (in a non-funny/interesting/dramatic way). I don’t need to know that you just put the bins out. I do that myself a few times a week – it’s not worth talking about. Unless of course something interesting/funny/insightful happened while you were doing it…then I’m all ears – ‘Just put bins out…got attacked by a bear. Didn’t know there were bears in Longford. Typing this with my left hand, feeling light-headed.’ Now that’s tweetable.
  • Tweet-report your child’s/pet’s everyday life. I definitely don’t need to know that ‘Eldest’ just went number two or that your cat is ‘chasing a bottle-cap around the kitchen floor LOL’. Unless of course, it’s number two in the singles-charts or said cat then picked up the bottle-cap and put it back on the bottle.
  • Repeat-tweet the link to the amazon page of your book about your child’s/pet’s every day life. Yeah, unfollowing you won’t be enough. I might just have to send the boys round.

By the way, I assure you I’m not being hypocritical and if I ever do any of the above, feel free to send the boys round. In the meantime, why not follow me on Twitter.


About PaulFitzSimons

Paul is the wealthy successful protagonist. Who is handsome.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s